


Lovely

by TheHuntress25



Series: Rebirth [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Body Image, F/M, Family Drama, Romance, Substance Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-07-12 02:51:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7081927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHuntress25/pseuds/TheHuntress25
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pansy Parkinson has entered a new stage of her life and is optimistic about the future but her faith in love has dwindled. Draco Malfoy is nothing more than a figment from her past, a broken fragment of the man he used to be but for all of his faults, he is the only person who truly sees her for the woman she has become.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lovely

Pansy Parkinson sighed with disappointment as she stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, her eyes scrutinizing every detail. The charm that she had used in order to add a little blush to her skin had faded after a mere hour and a wave of panic engulfed her like a tidal wave, “A plate of boiled cabbage has more life than I do right now.” She muttered with a groan. Her black hair was wrapped in a faded white towel and the round slopes of her shoulders were streaked with stretch marks, her naked body concealed beneath a silk robe that was beginning to fray around the edges. There were bags under her brown eyes from spending so many late nights sewing and she had a monstrous pimple the size of a Quaffle in the middle of her forehead that was driving her mad. “I look like an Inferi, of _course_ this is happening tonight.” She muttered furiously, glowering.

 

The romantic date that she had been anticipating for days was _finally_ here and she couldn't even get her body to cooperate. Pansy sighed grumpily and blamed the long hours at the robe shop for her haggard appearance, hoping that she didn't end up being late. Twilfit and Tattings was very busy this time of the year with hopeful brides barging into the shoppe, making outlandish demands, crying and being treated like goddesses. Ladonna Borgin was the client that Pansy had been assigned, even though she was still an assistant seamstress, Mrs. Tattings considered her more than adequate to handle the task on her own. It was proving to be more than a little difficult when Ms. Borgin was the worst person that could have ever been spewed out of the universe and Pansy shuddered as she recalled how the chit had ranted and raved yesterday.

 

“I don't expect someone like _you_ to understand what I'm going through.” Ms. Borgin had sneered in a lilting voice as Pansy had worked wearily on the hem of her gown. It was an ugly thing of lace, taffeta and a hideous high collar that made her resemble a vampire's bride, “I'm sure that you've found it very hard to snag a man with your family's reputation.” The woman had gone on, causing Pansy's head to lift up in offense. Her parents were from an old pureblood line and had supported the Dark Lord but they had paid the price for their foolishness a thousand times over, it wasn't something that she was comfortable with having thrown back in her face. “I _hear_ that your ilk have fallen on hard times and I can't say that I'm surprised, I was never sure why any of you fools were allowed to walk around with your heads held so high, you were no better than the rest of us.”

 

Pansy's teeth had gnashed together in anger at the woman's remarks and she had wanted nothing more than to ram her needle into her slender leg. Ms. Borgin's grandfather owned the most infamous shop in Knockturn Alley and she didn't think the prissy bitch had any room to criticize anyone. “I'm afraid that my family's welfare is none of your concern and although I'll never be considered a beauty, I've had no trouble finding the right sort of man for me.” This was the truth but she had failed to fall in love. Pansy had realized that love never really got you anything but that didn't mean she didn't have hope that this would change, “I'm no better than you, Ms. Borgin and _you_ are no better than me.” Her voice had held a grave sincerity that had made the gloating smile vanish from the woman's face and an ugly flush had darkened her cheeks, “never make the awful mistake of believing otherwise.”

 

Ms. Borgin had remained quiet after that but Pansy knew that the woman had probably complained to her employer and had a feeling Mrs. Tattings would have a word with her next week. Pansy had been raised to be polite, courteous and embarrassingly meek but her grandfather had always praised her for being outspoken. She had tried desperately to be the sort of daughter that her parents could finally be proud of but had failed at every turn, “You can't change people, darling. Just be the most wonderful girl that you can be and I'll always be here.” Her grandfather had promised when she had sobbed brokenly in his arms as a child.

 

Pansy's throat tightened and she had to inhale raggedly to stop herself from crying, her grandfather was the only person who believed in her. There was nothing that she could do that might earn her parent's love and she was no longer inclined to try, they had been furious when she had decided to strike out on her own. A sheltered pureblood girl from such an esteemed family should never even _consider_ working like some kind of lowly Muggle but Pansy had wanted more for herself and was never going back. Her parents still refused to acknowledge her and she sometimes wondered if the gap between them would ever be closed, some childish need for them flourishing when the lonely nights were too much to bear alone. She sighed and put the thought from her mind as she regarded the bland state of her appearance, dismayed to realize that the pimple in the middle of her forehead had no intention of surrendering just yet.

 

“I suppose the battle is over for tonight.” Pansy said wearily as she considered how much time she had left before her date. “I'd _better_ not be late because of acne.” Her voice was laced with aggravation as she slipped off her robe and began to dress, catching a brief glimpse of her ample figure in the mirror and resisting the urge to strike a pose. She was a far cry from the slender girl that she had been during her school days and although her voluptuous frame had made her mother reel in disgust, she loved herself. Belladonna Parkinson had ideas on what a proper girl should and shouldn't eat but Pansy had never been able to fit the mold of an ideal daughter. Her meals had been scrutinized every night and if she dared to sneak any sort of treat, her mother would unleash a fury that still had a way of terrifying her.

 

“ _You'll never be beautiful but at least you'll be thin. I won't be the mother of a pig.”_

 

Pansy had thought that living under her mother's thumb was torture enough but being put on a hard diet to ensure that she had “something worth wasting time on” had been hell. She knew that the sight of her jiggling breasts and drooping belly revolted several people in the small circles of pureblood society but it was better living in this skin than limiting herself. Belladonna had made it impossible for her to take pleasure in much, snatching away tasty sweets and refusing to allow her anything that might be deemed unhealthy. Pansy's mother was a very plump woman herself and had lamented often over how difficult it had been during her younger years, how all the handsome men had rejected her for prettier, skinnier girls with bouncing golden curls.

 

The fact that her drunkard father, Jacob Parkinson had married her was nothing short of a miracle but Pansy knew that their parents had arranged the match. Neither of them had garnered suitable prospects and although she didn't think that they loved one another, they were tolerable enough to spend the rest of their lives together. Pansy's worst nightmare was being stuck in a loveless marriage and she slipped on a pair of embroidered stockings with a grimace, they had been on sale at some boutique in Diagon Alley and she felt reckless for buying them. The material felt wonderful against her skin, however and she was unsure if it would make much of a difference if her boyfriend couldn't move past regarding her like a fragile flower. Pansy frowned worriedly as she slithered into a deep red dress, giggling happily as she flung the towel from her head and allowed her black hair to fly wildly, she had never felt this good about herself in her life.

 

Pansy spent a few more minutes ogling her figure before blow drying her damp hair with her wand as if she had the whole world to attend to. Her flat was tiny and not at all charming, her neighbors were the worst to live next to and Diagon Alley had enough noise to make her ears pound but she was grateful for all of it. She had never imagined that she could be this confident and hummed a merry song while styling her hair, covering up the demonic pimple on her forehead with an easy charm and applying her favorite shade of lipstick. Make up wasn't her forte but she thought that she looked well enough by the time her eye shadow was complete and slipped out of the bathroom hurriedly before struggling into a pair black ankle boots.

 

The weather was becoming colder and they were expecting their first flurry of snow before the end of the night but Pansy wasn't looking forward to it. Hogwarts had always been torture during winter and Diagon Alley was no different, she despised everything to do with the cold but slipped on a thick coat with a wistful smile. Those days felt like they had never happened at all and couldn't believe that some of the people she had known back then were no longer in her life, though she reflected that it was for the best. They were all different people now and she was hopeful that her date tonight went well, she wanted to start sharing her life with someone before giving up on love completely and becoming too happy in her own gilded cage.

 

~*~

 

“What the hell are you doing here? I didn't think that I would be getting a visit from you this soon and I can't say that I'm thrilled about it.” Draco Malfoy said rudely as Pansy strode into the library of Malfoy Manor an hour later, her chest aching with heartbreak. The date had gone terribly wrong and she found even his harsh words to be kind, “what's the matter with you?” the man asked abruptly after he had got no response. His pale blonde hair was mussed and he needed to shave but he appeared almost alive, as if he were unsure how to put himself back together again and Pansy thought that he had improved only marginally these past few months. She had been visiting him with the intention of helping him recover from a crippling depression but it was a slow process and there were many bad days between them that were unsavory to recall.

 

“I don't want to talk about it, Draco.” Pansy warned as she slipped her key back into the depths of her coat with a sharp glance in his direction. Mrs. Malfoy had made sure that she had a spare key in order to check on her son whenever she pleased, fearing that his condition would worsen if he were left to his own devices for too long.

 

Draco was a hollowed version of his former self but Pansy was determined to see him get well again, she knew that there was still hope for him to become the man she had always known he could be. He was still alive underneath that rotten shell but despite unwavering faith she had in him, they often argued and she suspected that he loved fighting with her.

 

“I see you're spending your time wisely.” Pansy said flatly, noticing the half empty glass of whiskey in his hand.

 

Draco's mouth tilted up in a thin smile and he crossed his legs lazily, the sofa he was sitting on a shade of red so deep that it reminded Pansy of blood. Pansy was unsurprised to find him loitering around in the library, it was clearly one of his favorite places in the Manor and was beautiful in its own way with towering shelves and imposing furniture. He often had a bad habit sitting in the dark but one of the first things that Pansy had done after visiting for a while was to open the drapes and blinds, letting in natural light to combat the gloom the Manor had fallen into.

 

Draco had been uncooperative at first until he had seen how happy it had made his mother, who had thanked Pansy profusely after she had spent one long afternoon cleaning the entire Manor until it was glistening. He had kept his mouth shut after that but he had watched her like a hawk ever since, trailing after her like a dark shadow until she had threatened to lock him in a cupboard.

 

“Have you eaten today?” Pansy asked him carefully.

 

Draco's mouth tightened with annoyance. “I don't need you pestering me,”

 

Pansy's eyes narrowed. “Have you eaten or not, Draco?”

 

“I have, damn you.” Draco snapped irritably.

 

Pansy nodded in approval and tried to make her hair into something more presentable, her stiff fingers unable to make much of the tangled strands. Draco swirled the amber liquid in his glass moodily and refused to meet her gaze, “If you would merely take better care of yourself, I wouldn't have to fuss at you like this.” She reprimanded gently. He shot her a venomous glare but said nothing, both of them knew that if she didn't make him eat, he would refuse to even bother and she had spent many a night spooning thick stew into his mouth until he had cursed her. His mother wasn't a very accomplished cook so Pansy often made their meals when she had the time, noticing that even while Draco griped about her lack of expertise, he never failed to scrape up every last morsel. “Do I need to ask if you've bathed today as well?”

 

Draco's eyes darkened. “Unless you're offering to join me, don't ask.”

 

“Have you?” Pansy pressed, unfazed by his rudeness.

 

“I thought of you while I scrubbed,” Draco sneered.

 

Pansy's upper lip curled. “Don't be vulgar,”

 

Draco scoffed and glowered at her. “I'm wealthy enough to do as I please.”

 

Pansy knew that this was more than true but he failed to mention that he had given away a significant portion of his fortune to charity. He was working in the Magical Law Department in an effort to stay afloat but she sensed that he was uncomfortable with his wealth, he had once said that he struggled with too much when others had too little. Draco wasn't the heartless monster he believed himself to be but Pansy sometimes found it hard to take in so much grandeur, “You may have more Galleons than a king but you still need to _bathe_ , Draco.” She found herself saying dryly and he offered to lather her back but she ignored him.

 

His flippant attitude was grating and the thought of him living in this large palace while she currently lived like a pauper made her almost regret setting out on her own. The ancient rug beneath her feet was probably more expensive than the embroidered stockings that she had wasted so much money on. Her boots were dripping with water and her black hair had lost its nice bounce, making her feel like a drowning rat. Pansy wanted to burst into tears, “Is it snowing already?” Draco asked curiously, taking in the miserable state of her coat with a laugh.

 

Pansy glowered at him and slipped out of it with a soft curse, hearing a sharp intake of breath as he ran his eyes over her. The red dress clung to every curve and she briefly wondered why it felt like she was standing in front of him naked, he had never shown much interest in her before and it made her feel vulnerable. She usually wore modest robes that didn't reveal much about her figure but she could hear Draco's rough breathing behind her and tensed.

 

It was difficult to tell if he found her hideous or mesmerizing. “What in the bloody hell are you wearing?” Draco asked heavily and she could have sworn that his eyes skimmed along her cleavage before she turned her back on him, draping her coat over a chair.

 

“What does it _look_ like?” Pansy asked, annoyed.

 

“Something easy to take off,” Draco replied thickly.

 

Pansy's cheeks warmed. “That's hardly what I meant.”

 

“Then work on your sarcasm,” Draco advised blandly.

 

Pansy fought for patience. “Where's your mother?”

 

“Father was in one of his moods,” Draco answered derisively.

 

Lucius Malfoy was currently recovering in St. Mungo's for spell damage and Pansy knew that Draco's relationship with him was strained. She was unsure what had happened between them but he hadn't visited his father in a long time and rarely mentioned him, “Why didn't you go with her?” she asked softly. Draco muttered something unpleasant but that would explain why he was wasting his evening drowning in booze, “I don't know why you never talk about it but I think it would make your mother feel better if you went with her to see him.”

 

“Is that so?” Draco asked nastily.

 

Mrs. Malfoy had a fragility about her these days that was worrying and Pansy often sat with her for tea or needlework, her heart filled with affection for the older woman. “It would probably give your father the inspiration that he needs to recover—” she started to say.

 

“Father doesn't want to see me and I have no intention of putting my mother through one of our battles again.” Draco interrupted caustically and Pansy felt a shiver go down her spine. There were a lot of pent up emotions between the two men and she sensed that it would be a long time before they moved forward but prayed that it wouldn't take the rest of their lives. It hurt her to know that they were like this, her relationship with her own family was so fractured that she would be lucky to ever see them again.

 

“She's been visiting him a lot more often lately, the Healers say that he's improving more each day and might actually be back home soon.” Draco didn't sound thrilled at all and she could hear the irony in his voice as he said, “the thought of him being in better condition than me is almost enough to make me consider doing something with my life.”

 

“It's not too late for you, Draco.” Pansy reassured kindly.

 

Draco barked a laugh. “What on earth has gotten into you?”

 

“What do you mean?” Pansy demanded.

 

“That sweet tone...you're never this nice to me.” Draco pointed out shrewdly.

 

Pansy's cheeks darkened with anger. “That's because you haven't earned it,”

 

Draco fell silent and considered her for several minutes, running his eyes over her disheveled hair and watching as she crossed her arms defensively. He was a difficult person to care about and even though they had shared some happy times together in the past, Pansy found it painful to think that she had ever loved him. It had been a one-sided affection that had gotten her hurt in the end but when she had finally gotten away from her mother, she had wanted to find _real_ love.

 

There had been only a handful of men in her life and more than enough passionate interludes to warm her cold bed at night but that was not the same as being truly desired above all else. Pansy worried that after tonight, she would never find a love so pure. “I know that I've put you through hell but I have to say, I never expected you to stay with me for so long.” Draco surprised her by saying earnestly, “you're a determined woman, Pansy. I admire that about you.”

 

“What's gotten into you?” Pansy asked, wary.

 

Draco's pale cheeks were faintly pink. “Can't I compliment you?”

 

Pansy smiled weakly. “I suppose I'm just not used to it,”

 

“I can be charming when the occasion calls for it.” Draco defended.

 

“You can also be an aggravating bastard.” Pansy retorted with a laugh.

 

“Then you should punish me until I behave.” Draco replied devilishly.

 

Pansy was instantly offended. “I could never _punish_ you—”

 

Draco considered this before saying huskily. “That dress alone is tormenting me.”

 

Pansy felt her cheeks heating with a blush and she wondered how he could still make her behave like a foolish girl. Why had she been so determined to make him love her? It only seemed to make the awful date from an hour before all the more poignant, she apparently hadn't learned much. “I'm not wearing this dress to fish compliments out of _you_ , Draco.” Her voice was curt but she could sense him ogling her with open fascination.

 

He had mocked her the first few times she had stopped by the Manor, saying that she would never catch a husband if she didn't lose weight. Pansy had calmly told him that her bed was rarely empty, he had been struck dumb, jaw slackening comically. Mrs. Malfoy had been horrified by the vicious barbs they had thrown at one another that night but Draco hadn't insulted her again, though Pansy sensed that he had merely taunted her in the first place to get a reaction.

 

“What a pity for us all.” Draco muttered brazenly.

 

“Don't trouble yourself with being polite Draco, I certainly don't mind.” Pansy snapped as she carefully bottled up her emotions, willing herself not to cry. The date had been a nightmare and she had to admit that being dumped in full view of strangers was the most humiliating thing that had ever happened to her. Draco was silent behind her but she could hear the gears in his mind turning, like they always did when a tense moment didn't offer a ready solution. Pansy managed to hold the tears at bay before she turned to face him, her face a careful mask that made Draco's grey eyes flash with what almost looked like concern. He was dressed in a loose fitting black shirt and white trousers that needed to be ironed but it was the first time that he had taken care with his own clothing, he usually skulked around in his pajamas, “what is it?” she asked impatiently when he merely stared at her.

 

“Are you ill?” Draco asked her cautiously.

 

Pansy's heart hurt. “No, I'm fine.”

 

Draco's eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Don't lie to me—”

 

“I'm _not_ in the mood right now, Draco.” Pansy retorted darkly.

 

An ugly silence fell.

 

“Is it snowing?” Draco asked her after a while.

 

Pansy's mood soured at the question. “Yes,”

 

Draco nodded with satisfaction before gulping down the last of his whiskey and setting the glass on the floor. Pansy huffed and stalked over to pick it up but he nudged it out of her way until it skidded along the hardwood floor like an ice cube, “I'm not a child. I don't need you cleaning up after me.” He said as she glared down at him. Pansy had been visiting him for the past few months in an effort to bring him out of hiss depression, he was afraid of going through it alone and she had offered to support him and see that he succeeded.

 

It was hard dealing with his shifting moods, his jibes and the sorrow he still couldn't see past but he had yet to scare her away. Pansy frowned down at him and Draco's lips twitched with faint amusement, “I want to go outside and watch the snow for a few minutes but I can't leave Benjamin.” He was saying to her idly, reaching out to toy with the sleeve of her dress. His five month old son was one of the only reasons that she hadn't completely given up on him, “he's too young to be out in the cold like that.”

 

“Where is Benjamin?” Pansy asked anxiously.

 

Draco gazed at her with troubling perceptiveness but he knew how much spending time with his young son meant to her. Pansy loved Benjamin with her whole heart and was only truly happy when she got to see him, hold him and pretend that everything made sense. “I set him down for a nap an hour ago, he's been fussy all day.” He considered her for a few tense seconds and Pansy was unsure what he could be thinking, his mind was usually too much of a chaotic mess for her to decipher. “I think he missed you, you're the only person that can really calm him down, would you like to see him?” he asked her softly and she nodded eagerly. Draco stood on surprisingly strong legs and briefly pressed his mouth against her cheek, “hopefully this will cheer you up.”

 

Pansy was startled by the affectionate _zing_ that passed between them but before she could say anything, he had already walked out of the room. What had gotten into him? Pansy reached up to touch the spot and felt an unwelcoming twinge of affection, it felt wrong after having her heart ripped out and crushed so effortlessly. The man that she had been seeing, Evan Rosier had tossed her aside for another woman without a thought and it hurt so much just then that she couldn't breathe.

 

“Ben, look who's here to see you? Yes, it's your favorite person in the whole wide world.” Draco's crooning voice snapped her out of the unpleasant thoughts. Her face brightened instantly as he headed towards her with his frowning son in his arms, the baby's black hair standing on end and reminding her of a grumpy chick as he glared up at the man, “look, here she is!”

 

“My sweet prince, I've missed you!” Pansy cried happily.

 

Draco laughed as the baby reached eagerly for her. “He adores you,”

 

Benjamin Malfoy was adopted but Pansy knew that Draco was devoted to him completely, he was the only person that could truly bring out genuine warmth in the man. The Daily Prophet would hardly be able to degrade him if they saw how much he loved his son but Pansy understood why Draco had kept the baby's adoption from making it into the newspaper. His family was still suffering greatly from the War and Pansy didn't want his mother or the child to go through scorn that would surely follow once it was known that the notorious Draco Malfoy was a father.

 

Pansy shook the thoughts off with a frown and took Benjamin from him, “Did you miss me, darling?” she asked softly, laughing as he wriggled excitedly in his nightgown. “My sweet, delightful little boy. Do you know how wonderful you are to me?”

 

Benjamin's face broke out in a gummy smile.

 

“I believe so,” Draco murmured, chuckling.

 

Pansy kissed the baby's cheek. “Precious angel, I miss you everyday.”

 

Draco guided her towards the sofa but she declined and carried Benjamin around the room contentedly, her pain melting with each second. Benjamin eventually fell asleep in her arms and she found herself wandering towards a frosted window, where the wind was howling. The ancient Manor was secluded enough that it sometimes felt like she had wandered into a lost kingdom but life was nothing like the fairy tales that her grandfather had read to her before bed.

 

There was no dashing prince coming to her rescue and Pansy would never be queen of this ruined old place. “I truly love winter.” Draco mused suddenly, startling her. He stood beside her like a ghost, his grey eyes flashing with fragments of his former self, “Mother would have Dobby prepare my favorite meals every night and father would be rolling in the snow with me outside.” His smile was painful, “we used to go sledding, build snowmen and get lost in the back garden for hours.”

 

“Draco—”

 

“I wonder sometimes about whether or not those moments were real or simply just what I wanted them to be.” Draco interrupted, his voice holding a longing that tore at her soul. Pansy had never heard him speak like this before and she found her arms tightening around Benjamin's small frame, anchoring her to this moment in case he lured her away. She wanted to say something but he was watching her with a curious expression and she gasped as he reached out to stroke her cheek, wiping away a tear that she hadn't felt. “What's bothering you? I can't stand the sight of tears.” He scowled as he reached into his trouser pocket and extracted a white handkerchief, clumsily blotting her face with it.

 

“What do you think you're—”

 

Draco ignored her protests and drawled with surprising patience. “I was beginning to believe that you had forgotten _how_ to cry but I think it's about damn time.” His voice was wry, “Mother told me how your family has been treating you.” Pansy spluttered indignantly as more tears escaped and were wiped roughly away, “speak to me and let me in.” He hesitated, “it's the least I could do after all the shit I've put you through.”

 

Pansy gasped in annoyance. “S-stop that, you _prat_!”

 

Draco continued wiping her tears. “Speak, Pansy.”

 

Pansy was unsure what it was about this moment that shattered the wall between them but the pain had nowhere left to hide. A tremor began from the tips of her fingers and ended at the soles of her feet, her breath beginning to come out in ragged gasps before she began to sob in great, hulking heaves that made Benjamin fret fitfully. Draco took the baby from her and she watched numbly as he placed his son on the sofa cushion carefully, ensuring that he wouldn't fall before returning to her, “I was told something awful by someone that I was seeing.” She found herself hiccuping as his eyes widened in surprise.

 

“Go on,” Draco murmured gently.

 

“I thought that he cared about me but I was j-just deluding myself, he said that he couldn't be seen with someone of my size.” Pansy wiped at her eyes. Evan Rosier had stared at her with disgust and she had nearly been reduced to the insecure girl of her youth, “I thought he was different but he told me that... that I was _embarrassing_ him.”

 

Draco was silent for several minutes as she gasped and relived the agony of that moment all over again, embarrassed for the way things had ended. Pansy knew that she must have looked like quite the sight to the other guests in the restaurant, she hadn't burst into tears or screamed but there had been something in her face that had made them pity her deeply. Evan Rosier was a successful man and had worked hard to become one of the highest paid employees in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement but she hadn't fit the world he was trying to build. She was just a poor seamstress from a broken family and as she said these things, unaware that Draco was listening intently to every word, her heart lifted enough to hear him say.

 

“You're worth far more than that.” Draco said firmly.

 

“W-what?” Pansy choked, sniffling.

 

The expression on Draco's face was far from pitying and she was stunned to see that he appeared hurt by her words, as if she had personally struck him. He reached out to touch her before thinking better of it and allowing his hand to fall at his side, his fingers forming a tight fist, “Pansy, there's absolutely not an inch of you that isn't worth loving.” Pansy's breath caught awkwardly in her throat. “My mother told me about what happened with your family and how you set off to follow your dreams, I don't believe that anyone I've ever encountered has been so brave.” He laughed bitterly and ran his fingers through his pale hair, the locks were still too long and were beginning to curl around his ears but he had yet to bother taking pride in his appearance.

 

There was no need when he considered himself half dead.

 

“We both know that none of our old friends are doing very well with themselves since the War but here you are, _trying_ and if you don't deserve to be loved by someone who will worship the ground you walk on then nothing makes sense.” Draco said with such an open heart that it almost hurt to hear, his voice almost enchanting.

 

Pansy's eyes felt itchy and swollen but his words were so unexpectedly beautiful that she burst into a fit of tears all over again. Draco cursed and made an attempt to apologize, “No, no. It's all right!” she cried in alarm as he raised the dreaded handkerchief again. Her hands reached out for him, desperate to keep some distance between them but he took her soft hand in his briefly before allowing her to jerk away as if she had been scalded.

 

“Tell me what's bothering you, then.” Draco insisted softly.

 

Pansy hesitated but her voice escaped before she could swallow the painful words back and it was such a relief to unleash them. “I...I left home because I was tired of being told that I would never be what my parents wanted. I didn't want to end up like my mother, bitter and mean with nothing to look forward to but my own misery—it took too long for me to realize that I was my own person.” Draco's supportive words had only opened up a floodgate of repressed emotions and her heart sang at his praise but some part of her was shattered as well.

 

It shouldn't take all of this just to be happy.

 

“My dreams aren't just _wishes_ , I'll make them come true but no one else believes in me!” Pansy cried, overwhelmed.

 

“I believe in you.” Draco declared firmly.

 

Pansy's heart clenched, Evan had made her think the same thing. “That...that's exactly what _he_ said,”

 

“ _I_ believe in you, cherish that for what it is.” Draco responded patiently.

 

Pansy nodded gratefully, sniffling. “Please don't give up on me.”

 

“As long as you don't give up on me.” Draco whispered softly.

 

Pansy was at a loss for words and they stayed silent for what felt like an eternity, taking each other in as if they had never seen each other before. There was something _beginning_ between them that felt both foreign and wonderful, though she didn't have a name for it and was afraid of how quickly it settled into her bones. Draco was here with her in this moment but how easily would he vanish from her by tomorrow? Her head spun dizzily as she worried what sort of person he might be in the morning and if he would even remember what he had done for her.

 

“Thank you for cheering me up, Draco. I'm sorry I was being so short with you earlier,” Pansy murmured regretfully.

 

“You're allowed to lose your temper, no need to apologize.” Draco said, chuckling.

 

“It didn't shock you?” Pansy asked him curiously.

 

Draco burst out laughing. “No, I've never forgotten your temper.”

 

Pansy rubbed her eyes wearily. “I still feel badly for it.”

 

“I do have one question for you, however.” Draco said slyly.

 

Pansy eyed him warily. “What is it?”

 

Draco tilted his head curiously. “Were you in love with this man?”

 

“N-no,” Pansy replied, stiffening.

 

“Then why were you crying, sweetheart?” Draco asked tenderly and Pansy was so baffled by the truth that she didn't protest as he pulled her into his arms, holding her as dearly as he would a treasure. Pansy shifted in his arms and tried to put some space between them but he held her tighter, “if someone like him can't see just how beautiful you are, then you never needed him in your life to begin with.” His voice cracked on the words and she felt his mouth drifting along her throat, sending shivers down her spine.

 

“Your family has never wanted to see just how wonderful you've always been and I'm afraid that I treated you terribly long before I became like this.” Draco's caring words were luring her in, “I know who you are now...you're not the lost girl that I grew up with and you're stronger than the child your parents want you to be.” Pansy's heart clenched, “you're brave, kind and lovely.” He whispered faintly and his mouth hovered over her own.

 

“Wh..what are you doing?” Pansy croaked.

 

Draco's smile was beauty itself. “I want to kiss you.”

 

“Why?” Pansy asked, bewildered.  
  


“I need to. Will you let me?” Draco asked quietly.

 

Pansy's mind was in a riot of confusion and memories, he would never be the boy that she had fancied as a girl but that didn't have to be a bad thing. She couldn't go through the agony of having her feelings trampled again but it was already too late, “Yes.” Her voice was filled with wonder as he brought their lips together. _Merlin_ , it had been a long time since she had been kissed this way and despite the damage that time had wrought on their lives, this one act had stayed the same but held a fragile promise that she couldn't name.

 

Both his hands came up to her face, adjusting the angle between them until she was forced to sink into the sensation. Pansy was unsure how long they kissed or how far it would have gone but Draco was the one who finally ended it and he stared down at her as if he couldn't quite believe what he had done, his arms tightening around her reflexively. “I'm sorry but I think I need you, you really are lovely.” He muttered thickly before forcing himself to let her go. Pansy watched as he started to turn away but she reached out and took his hand, gasping as he returned the pressure until hope burned in her chest, more powerful than ever.

 

 

 

 


End file.
